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Frequently Asked Questions

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How does sharing my story help others?

Before I came forward with my story about being abused, I felt incredibly alone. I felt like I was the only person who was going through this kind of abuse. And when sharing my story, not only was I able to get the help, therapy, and money I needed to move out of my abusive home, I was also able

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I feel like giving up because no one is listening, what should I do?

If you’re looking for help and you tell one person that first person doesn’t listen, keep on going, keep on asking, keep on telling, because at some point someone will listen and your voice will be heard.

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I know what happened to me is abuse but it has been so long since my abuse occurred, does this matter?

It matters because time does not heal all wounds. There isn’t a statute of limitations on murder–on taking someone else’s life. Even if it happened 40 or 50 years ago, the fact that it happened so long ago doesn’t minimize the heinous nature of that act. To destroy someone’s life or forever alter how they look at themselves or other

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Does what happened to me count as abuse?

I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to talk about the abuse and free yourself from keeping that deep dark secret, because in my case, I couldn’t live my healthy best life until I talked about that deep dark secret.

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Will everything about my abuse and my abuser be made public?

Choosing to come forward and file a civil suit is a hard decision. Don’t be afraid that everything from your past is going to be made public, it doesn’t have to be that way. One very important step is finding an attorney that you trust and can really work with. Additionally, that attorney can have you files at John or

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When do I have to decide to file a civil case in New York?

Unfortunately there’s a very short window of time for survivors in the state of New York to decide whether or not they want to take advantage of the Child Victims Act. The deadline for survivors no matter when they were abused in the state of New York is August 13, 2020. Now you don’t want to wait till the last

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How does my coming forward make a difference?

I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to talk about the abuse and free yourself from keeping that deep dark secret, because in my case, I couldn’t live my healthy best life until I talked about that deep dark secret.

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I was turned down by the IRCP. Should I still call a lawyer?

Absolutely. There are numerous people turned down by IRCP that are filling civil suits. Often times the difference is that when you go into the IRCP you’re not represented by a lawyer; you’re just talking to the church, so when you say, “When I was 10 years old, Father Jones molested me, and they say well we don’t know anything

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How does my coming forward make a difference?

The thing about sharing your story is that it helps with closure and it helps process everything and gives other people the voice that they need to speak up and be able to go out and share their story.

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Who’s going to believe me?

First of all, I’m going to believe you and there are a lot of survivors who are going to believe you. You’re not alone in this. There are a lot of people who have gone through similar abuses and we all understand and know what it means to not be believed. We are here for you, we’re here to believe

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Does the Child Victims Act in New York include all cases of child sexual abuse, or only certain ones?

The child victims act in New York State is to help survivors of child sexual abuse and this might be you. I myself didn’t know what happened to me as a teen was sexual assault until I was 26 years old. The point is, don’t try this at home. Find someone who’s well versed in this topic and is a

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Does what happened to me count as abuse?

Maybe, but it usually doesn’t work. We see this with sexual assault survivors. They’ll sue a victim for defamation. The defendant will say, “You called me a child molester.” No, I reported this crime to the police. And that’s one of the benefits of filing a civil suit because that is protected speech. What you say in a civil lawsuit

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Am I going to be shunned for speaking out?

There are huge rewards and many risks in coming forward and disclosing in the court system that you are a victim of child sexual abuse coming forward is a huge step on the path to healing for many survivors but for others there are other pathways and no one can determine what is the best pathway for any individual person

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When do I have to decide to file a civil case?

Laws vary state by state but this is what we tell survivors. The best time to come forward is when you are ready because no one can tell you or force you to disclose your abuse until you are ready and until you were healed. So take your time take a deep breath and get the healing you deserve but

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If I bring a case, can I be countersued by my abuser?

If you file a lawsuit, is it possible that your abuser will counter sue you? Yes, but that doesn’t mean they’re gonna win. Oftentimes, it’s just a legal tactic to try and intimidate you. Trust your attorney, and they’ll be able to take actions to protect you. Oftentimes those countersuits by abusers are thrown out.

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How to stop blaming myself for what happened?

It took me so long to come forward to talk about my fears because I thought it was my fault. I was the one that got in the car with the police officer who abused me and there was nothing that could be done that would changed my mind that it was not my fault. Not until much later, I

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