Frequently Asked Questions

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Am I going to be shunned for speaking out?

There are huge rewards and many risks in coming forward and disclosing in the court system that you are a victim of child sexual abuse coming forward is a huge step on the path to healing for many survivors but for others there are other pathways and no one can determine what is the best pathway for any individual person

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If I have evidence, but wasn’t abused myself, what should I do?

If you have evidence of abuse or you know of abuse that’s happened, or you suspect that abuse is happening, please contact law enforcement and hand over the evidence. Tell them the details that you know. Not only will this help them be on guard about the person that you’re giving evidence, but also it might help other cases that

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It’s been so long since I was abused, does it still matter?

Absolutely. It is never too late to get help with child sexual abuse. Because if you don’t, there’s a great possibility that you can act out in so many harmful ways to yourself and others. In my case, I acted out a self-destructive behavior and I acted out angrily. Fortunately, I had a job that paid me to create mayhem

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What resources have helped you heal?

What has helped me heal is the strength of the other survivors who speaks out in self-help groups. If it wasn’t for that, I would probably be still suffering in silence. I am so glad that there were other survivors out there who spoke up and have become a big part of my support system. Now, I even go around

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What should I do if my Rabbi says I shouldn’t report my abuse?

A lot of rabbis may try to tell you that you’re not allowed to report child sexual abuse to the authorities or that you have to go through a based in. They’re absolutely wrong. Child sexual abuse can cause suicidal ideation, depression, self-harm, eating disorders as well as a host of other life-threatening conditions. There is no question that the

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When do I have to decide to file a civil case?

Deciding whether or not to file a civil case is certainly a big choice to make. Luckily, you have time. The window is open from August 2019 – 2020. However, it takes time to prepare a civil case. So you’re going to start looking for an attorney and gathering documents for this attorney to help you with the process.

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When do I have to decide to file a civil case in New York?

Unfortunately there’s a very short window of time for survivors in the state of New York to decide whether or not they want to take advantage of the Child Victims Act. The deadline for survivors no matter when they were abused in the state of New York is August 13, 2020. Now you don’t want to wait till the last

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When do I have to decide to file a civil case?

Laws vary state by state but this is what we tell survivors. The best time to come forward is when you are ready because no one can tell you or force you to disclose your abuse until you are ready and until you were healed. So take your time take a deep breath and get the healing you deserve but

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Who’s going to believe me?

First of all, I’m going to believe you and there are a lot of survivors who are going to believe you. You’re not alone in this. There are a lot of people who have gone through similar abuses and we all understand and know what it means to not be believed. We are here for you, we’re here to believe

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Will everything about my abuse and my abuser be made public?

Choosing to come forward and file a civil suit is a hard decision. Don’t be afraid that everything from your past is going to be made public, it doesn’t have to be that way. One very important step is finding an attorney that you trust and can really work with. Additionally, that attorney can have you files at John or

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What if I can’t afford a lawyer?

it’s not going to cost you anything totalk to a civil attorney and these cases are usually handled on a contingency basis so rather than paying the attorney an hourly fee for his or her time they’ll take a portion of whatever’s recovered in the case they will also pay all of the litigation expenses expert fees filing fees deposition

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How does my coming forward make a difference?

Everytime a survivor comes forward and shares their story of sexual abuse it makes a difference. You’re making a difference. We’re building a network and a community of brothers and sisters of survivors who understand each other. We’re making a systemic difference and change. I came forward and thought I was alone but shortly thereafter others came forward and we’re

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Does what happened to me count as abuse?

Maybe, but it usually doesn’t work. We see this with sexual assault survivors. They’ll sue a victim for defamation. The defendant will say, “You called me a child molester.” No, I reported this crime to the police. And that’s one of the benefits of filing a civil suit because that is protected speech. What you say in a civil lawsuit

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